Friday, June 10, 2011

Honing my intuition by admitting I am a multitude.

I've wasted countless hours racking my brain on decisions when I usually go with my first intuitive choice in the end.  Why can't I trust my intuition from the start?  I must learn to "Roll Down Hill".  Consulting with a mentor has value but even mentors are occasionally wrong.  The more voices I seek the more complicated it gets and the farther the decision becomes.  Sometimes the numerous voices in my head speak out of turn, argue and out right lie to me.  I need to find The Voice in the sea of voices and do what he says without thought.

There is much scientific evidence that intuition is more accurate then random.  Intuition is the irrational sense of just knowing, without evidence, with out thinking, without research or consultation.  Most people do believe that intuition is a real sensory organ that can be honed over time.  But most of us don't trust it.  We intuitively know we have a tool (intuition) but believe it is too complicated to use, especially with out the help of a manual.

Maximizing your utilization of your own intuition is tied to believing your brain works well.  This doubt in our own intuition is rooted in our unresolved conflicts in our personal world view, lack of confidence, lack of practice and lack of external positive reinforcement when it does work.  We have been taught to doubt ourselves and embrace skepticism.  Get it right or else!  I'm here to tell you, mistakes teach me more than getting it right the first time.

In order to trust my inner voice(s) I must change the way I think my brain works.  I am actively going to marginalize all those things that are in my way of trusting myself no matter what.  So here is how I view my brain now that I have thrown out those blockades:
There is no single consciousness.  We are a collective of voices who can, when organized, sing a siren's song.  I am by design schizophrenic and identity dissociative but not to the point of disfunction.  This is what allows me to be so adaptive and change my environment to meet my needs.  I can change who I am at any moment.
In the case where I want to be intuitive,  I have decided to listen only to the voice that speaks first.  All the other voices are noise that don't deserve my attention.  I will trust this voice with absolute faith.  This will be difficult and I will have to find some ear plugs for all the doubting voices as I'm sure this is going to piss them off.  But over time I hope to become intuitive.

What makes each human unique is the conflicts in their world view that they happily live with and don't try to resolve.  It is the inner discrepancies that define us and that we sometimes call character.  I am a character.

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